had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
