i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We just shotgunned beers for America
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
