apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize