Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
