Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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