Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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