Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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