I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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