What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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