I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He kissed a someone with a penis
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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