I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
