Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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