ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
