Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
