They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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