oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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