were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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