tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
