just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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