ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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