Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we made out on top of his cat.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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