These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
