p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
