I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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