Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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