She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
