I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
