everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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