So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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