then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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