I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
