omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
