if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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