I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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