I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
