Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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