I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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