I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
