she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
