I want to make a zoo with you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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