had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize