yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
