apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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