you traded sex for a burrito?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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