thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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