My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Its about making memories worth repressing
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize