either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
