His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
