The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Everclear isn't food dammit
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
