Duck Duck Cougar?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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