I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
