You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
