But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
