just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
