He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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