Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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