K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
