Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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