i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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