just tell him i said nine months
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
