went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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